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pretty pink tuesday, originally uploaded by patti | dearmissdoll.

“So is that what happens the closer we get to our birthdays? We fall apart?”

I asked my beloved this last night.   You see, my beloved’s birthday is coming up shortly and soon after it’ll be my own birthday. This week he developed a pinched nerve that makes it painful to sleep or walk. Yesterday it suddenly felt as if I’d sprained or twisted my ankle, but I’d done nothing to bring such pain on. Today his and my pain is worse.

Does this mean we’re getting old?

• Chiggers! The outdoors apparently holds a grudge against me.  Each time I spend time outdoors something reacts to my body – one time poison sumac, which turned into a staph infection; another time poison ivy; that same weekend infection in both of my feet; last time swollen ankles; and now, chigger bites.  I have well over 90 chigger bites on feet, legs, and back.  My body is unbearably itchy right now and only time will cure it, alas.

• Driving… I cannot retain numbers or numeric facts, which according to my doctor is common with ADHD patients and this makes passing the permit exam impossible.  Thus, I am desperately searching for friends who will practice driving with me sans permit right now.  The lack of options and restricted independence have become just too much and I have to find my way out of this situation.  I intend to save funds to purchase a vehicle once I get a license, or during the process too of practicing for the driver’s test.

• Job Insanity. My job continues to be ridiculously busy, with ten-hour straight days becoming more and more common (today I worked 10 ½ hours straight).  In spite of my productivity there is a never ending source of work to be done.  The drama continues on too, which leads to increased frustration and growing negativity within.  It is exhausting.

• Meds. I was put on an ADHD med called Straterra a couple of months back, which stopped being effective rather quickly.  The doctor prescribed a different ADHD med that is a part of the Adderall family of drugs.  It has done incredibly for me, leaving me 100% more productive and focused.  I am so much more efficient at work.  The meds work for about 12 hours a day when in my system.  I only wish the effect of the meds last 15 hours instead so after work, in personal time, I could be less distracted and more focused as well. (Heh).

• Plans Changed. I have decided against purchasing a home right now, for many reasons.  I have considered the implications, the permanence, the limited options (within my price range), and certain things that ought be a higher priority first.  The stress of the buying process too has become more than I had anticipated.  I intend to rent another apartment, elsewhere, for a year instead and see where life takes me from here.

Thin., originally uploaded by gina.banina.

Every inch, every ounce, every notch matters. Pictures don’t add ten pounds, but they are scrutinized for any deviation in appearance. Eyes become magnifying glasses. Mirrors become judge and jury. Numbers are feared. Measurement is the main motivation. The life of a supermodel? Perhaps, but it is also the life of the anorexic.

Thin is in, so they say. The thing is, going with that, thin has been “in” for four-plus decades. For as long and before, anorexia has existed and has killed and destroyed many lives. And this is why I continue to speak about this disease of the mind and death of the body.

With treatment, 60% of anorexics will recover. The other 40% will relapse to some degree and 20% of those will remain dangerously underweight. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of all psychiatric disorders, with 20% of anorexics dying within their lifetime (without treatment, with treatment 2 – 3% still will die).

Some make light of anorexia, via tee-shirts, jokes, or misunderstanding. Evidently some do not see anorexia as a disease but as a choice. My experience has proven anorexia to be an adept and insipid disease and not as easy as “Just eat,” or “You look great!” It is not as easy as an ultimatum from a parent or partner. Anorexia is a tough battle and it is important that everyone understand this.

Last week, a fellow blogger Miss Britt wrote on the question of healthcare as a right versus healthcare as a privilege.  I responded to her outstanding post with the following:

I believe healthcare is a right.  In a supposedly evolved and civilized society, it is abominable that so many do not have health insurance or have mediocre health insurance.  Sure we all have the right to healthcare, but only if we are able to afford the bills that follow.  I am one of those American citizens who have health insurance, through my employer, but do not have good health insurance.

My deductible is so high that even with monthly physician visits and prescriptions, an ER visit, and various medical tests throughout the year, I will never get my deductible paid off and so am barely making ends meet with medical expenses on top of normal monthly expenses.  I work in a bankruptcy firm where many clients either have insurance issues like my own or do not have insurance but have health conditions, a sick kid, or have some other medical-related issue come up.  People end up in bankruptcy because of their medical bills alone in this country and that is alarming.

It is astounding to me that many other countries have national healthcare (or are working to implement it now), but we do not.  Politicians, the media, and Conservatives will claim that national healthcare would simply not work or is socialism in action; however I have seen information proving that it is indeed working very well in Canada, England, France, and even Cuba, for doctors and patients alike.  Look at the data before claiming it doesn’t work.  Socialism? The way I look at it our country is based upon “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” right? Then explain to me how healthcare for all does not provide greater quality of life and a greater chance at the pursuit of happiness.

The non-existence of a national healthcare system in this country very likely has more to do with lobbyists and corporate interests than the question of if one would be of benefit to the people or would be a valid solution to healthcare troubles.

I hope to God that Obama is elected and is able to do something, with Congress’ help, to fix the American healthcare system.  It is broken and it is breaking us.

With 45.7 million uninsured in this country and 11.4 million of the nation’s uninsured “working-age adults with one or more chronic illnesses, including hypertension, heart disease, diabetes, asthma and cancer,” we absolutely must fix the healthcare system in this country.

For an industrialized nation, it is unacceptable that “The United States ranks highest in preventable deaths among 19 developed nations, and the Institute of Medicine estimates that 18,000 Americans die unnecessarily each year because they lack health insurance.”  Those who have insurance are not necessarily much better off with high premiums, large deductibles, extensive regulations, and battles with bureaucracy.  I am one of the underinsured.

In February I had a seizure and ended up in the Emergency Room, taken in an ambulance.  Even with my current Blue Cross-Blue Shield insurance, I was left with a $411 ambulance bill and a $110 emergency room bill.  I was able to pay the $110 bill quickly, but the $411 bill has remained a weight on me and I hope to have it paid off by December.

I have a psychiatrist bill that I have been paying down for a year or more, the amount going toward my large deductible.  The bill is for regular visits, every two to three months, to continue for an undetermined amount of time.  I hope to have that bill finally paid in full by December as well.

I have regular prescriptions that even with the co-pays I question each month if I can afford them.  I have not picked up one of the prescriptions in close to two months because of the cost.  The other prescription I cannot do without, I’ve tried, so I continue to pay for it each month reluctantly.

My chronic health conditions will continue to result in medical bills for years to come.  I fear another ambulance ride, another emergency room visit, and still more unexpected medical costs.  I can’t imagine trying to pay medical bills as an underinsured person with cancer.

For the uninsured and the underinsured, we need to put in place a national healthcare system. We are the only industrialized nation without universal healthcare.  It is time to change this, it is time for change.

Bonus Links:

• A Conservative Case for Universal Health Care
• Physicians for a National Health Program
• Universal Health Care Action Network

It is quite possible that this post might be too much for some readers to handle, so please read only if you can handle something out of the realm of normalcy.

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