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pretty pink tuesday, originally uploaded by patti | dearmissdoll.

“So is that what happens the closer we get to our birthdays? We fall apart?”

I asked my beloved this last night.   You see, my beloved’s birthday is coming up shortly and soon after it’ll be my own birthday. This week he developed a pinched nerve that makes it painful to sleep or walk. Yesterday it suddenly felt as if I’d sprained or twisted my ankle, but I’d done nothing to bring such pain on. Today his and my pain is worse.

Does this mean we’re getting old?

Citygarden – “Kindly Gepetto” by Tom Otterness, originally uploaded by Nikon66.

You should definitely check out this photographer’s work. His photos of the Citygarden in downtown St. Louis are just incredible. His shots are absolutely inspiring!

Packed, originally uploaded by Brian Auer.

1. No more melted ice cream.
2. Quick trips will truly be quick.
3. Hours will not be wasted waiting for buses and trains.
4. Waiting in the cold, rain, snow, and sleet will be a piece of the past.
5. My arms will not be stretched and sore from hauling groceries home.
6. Dressing cute for an evening out in the winter will be a possibility.
7. I will be designated driver extraordinaire!

Sick., originally uploaded by gina.banina.

I am sick: my brain is foggy, my nose runs, and the back of my throat is thick with phlegm. I should have known I would catch cold. I am done with outdoors parties for the fall and winter, dang it. I will remain inside, where there is a furnace blazing and blankets to snuggle up in, thank you very much.

Because I am sick it is even more difficult than usual to find motivation to do anything at all on my growing to-do list. Instead I am contemplating very quickly doing the dishes and then climbing into bed and falling asleep to a Netflix “watch instantly” movie. I suppose it is a good way to spend an evening in sick. Then it’s decided! Dishes then bed with laptop to watch a Netflix movie.

IMG_9431-1, originally uploaded by gina.banina.

• Baking – I have developed an affinity for baking it seems. 2 weekends ago it was chocolate chip banana bread, this weekend it was peanut butter cookies, and next will be blueberry nut bread. I already have plans to make homemade chocolate chip pancakes and homemade soups.
• Communication – I have had little energy to communicate for the past several weeks. It’s been a month since I have had time to reply to an e-mail and about as long since I have called any friends or family, and it’s been awhile since I have texted anyone either.
• Inspiration – As autumn says an awkward goodbye, too quickly, and winter slyly tiptoes in, my crafty side reappears. I am drawn to making new magnets and scrapbooking more of my childhood as well as my father’s life. I want nothing but to spend my evenings creating. I also want to do nothing but hide from the cold, under my electric blanket. This could complicate things.
• Politics – I am finding it difficult to stay informed, with so little energy in the evenings, but still I remain aware of the healthcare reform being discussed and dissected in Congress and aware of the worsening of our economy. I find passion persists within on these issues that impact the us all so deeply.

Autumn surreptitiously slipped in this year. This has been an autumn like none I can recall. The dynamic reds, oranges, and yellows are scarce, though some familiar features of autumn still remain.

The crisp, chilled breeze invites thoughts of hot apple cider & bonfires, cozy evenings in with a special someone, and big pots of soup or warm from the oven cookies.

We pull our bulky coats and warm mittens, scarves, and caps out of storage, and cover our beds with big, heavy quilts, flannel sheets, and electric blankets.

We know that ultimately all we can do is enjoy the beauty and quiet of autumn and prepare for the coming winter.

(Mushroom 1, by Moi)

IMG_9213-1, originally uploaded by gina.banina.

My perspective is infinitely more positive these days. This is because I am happier than I can remember ever having been. R. has been a significant part of this happiness. I will repress my impulse to gush (you’re welcome), but am delighted that I’ve found this bliss. My metamorphosis of mindset is also thanks to a creative and inspiring person who I was fortunate enough to be introduced to (by R., no less!). She acquainted me with the concept of a daily journal in which you note every positive occurrence. I am grateful to her for sharing her own journal of joy with me, which inspired me to begin my own.

The media seems to be consumed with making up “new rules” for our techno-centric culture.  I have my own list of rules for the techno-centric culture in which we live.

Texting

1. If your partner sends a text to you, reply at some point
2. Mass texts? Prayer chains? Forwarded texts? Don’t.  No one likes to receive them.
3. With your partner? No one texts an SOS message – trust me, your friends’ texts can wait.

Cellphone Use (That unrelated to texting)

1. Do not play music, without headphones, on your cell in public.  It’s obnoxious.
2. Talking on your cell at the office? Occasionally = permissible. Constantly = unacceptable.
3. In a waiting room? Be kind and silence your phone, and keep use to a minimum.

Googling

1. Thou shalt not Google your date or mate.  It’s creepy.  Don’t be a stalker,
2. Googling your own name? That’s smart.  You should be aware just what is out there.
3. The world may not in fact revolve around Google – branch out. Other resources exist too.

Social Networking

1. If you add someone from your job, remember this before you rant about an office drama.
2. Don’t be “that” person who adds people just to have the largest number of “friends.”.
3. People read the things you forward, tweet, or publish.  Consider your audience.

To be continued…

Top Ten of Summer –

1. Attended two Midwest burns and am officially captivated by the culture.
2. Learned I really love camping and can in fact put up a tent by myself!
3. Met an incredible person who may be the most positive influence of my entire life.
4. Moved from a studio apartment to a one bedroom in a garden neighborhood.
5. Watched Jasper come back to a happy place when we moved to our new home.
6. Decided to stop drinking and have happily remained sober since.
7. Shot some of the best photographs I have ever taken, one week ago.
8. Modeled for a photographer who took some of the best shots of me ever.
9. Found myself shaking hands with the past and moving on.
10. Learned much about myself.

Daddy and Me, originally uploaded by gina.banina.

Normally I write about my father, a nice little something dedicated to him. I don’t have it in me to do it again this year.  It isn’t about him – the grief remains.  It is about me.  Frankly, I need something more than this.