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A dozen roses! , originally uploaded by gina.banina.

I didn’t do the obligatory birthday blog post this year, but I absolutely should have at least mentioned this:

He got me a dozen roses!!!

I am a very, very lucky girl.

This Thanksgiving I have much to be thankful for and perhaps the most I have had to be thankful for in my life thus far.  I am perhaps the happiest and healthiest I have ever been, I really do believe.

I have met a man, my one and only, who is an exceptionally positive influence and treats me incredibly well.  He sees and appreciates all aspects of me and reminds me daily that he cares about and wholly values me.  My one and only is an intelligent, strong, and interesting person.

I am, of course, very thankful for my Jasper, as I am thankful for him daily.  Jasper has been the one constant in my life over the past 7 ½ years.  He offers unconditional love, offers great affection, and brings absolute joy to my life.  Along with the gratitude I have for him, I am very thankful that he continues to be healthy and happy.

I am thankful too that I have remained alcohol-free – for the past 139 days in fact.  The decision to stop drinking was the best decision for me.  My life and my relationships are much better because I am now 100% alcohol-free.  I have a clearer mind, healthier body.  I enjoy markedly improved outlets for emotion and expression for sure.

For the increased creativity and channels for such creativity I am quite grateful.  Along with that, I am very thankful for having met an inspiring individual this year (she should know to whom I am referring and I do hope that she does).  I have much to learn from her still and am definitely look forward to it.

In the past several months I have learned much, but one of the greatest lessons has been gratitude.  The new positive mindset I possess brings me greater peace and a more beneficial mindset with which to handle the bumps on life’s journey.  I make every effort to write down my daily blessings, well, daily.  Even on seemingly bad days I can think of at least five or ten things positive in that day.  I was amazed when I realized that even bad days held good moments.

It had never occurred to me to be particularly thankful for having a job before; however, this year I am all too aware of how lucky I am to have a job.  I can count on two hands the number of friends I have had this year jobless.  In my field, I have witnessed what the 10.2% national rate of joblessness means, meeting many of those that embody this statistic.  It is nearly impossible in this economy to find a new one too.

This Thanksgiving I will keep a smile on my face and remember just how very blessed I am.

Facebook has been on my mind lately.  I wonder what it is that leads us to “friend” everyone we have ever known and sometimes those we do not know.  I have a “friends” list that includes 317 people.  I know nearly every individual in the list, sure, but I can count on one, maybe two, hands the number of people on the list with whom I stay in touch.

It boggles my mind what it is that draws us to read status updates and continue to add family, friends, or acquaintances when we do not have intentions, time, or energy to keep in touch via e-mail, mail, messaging, or phone, or in person (imagine that, interacting in person!).  We may now and again, at best, reply to someone’s status update on our “friends list” or write something on their “wall,” sure, but actually interact and keep on touch on a more than superficial level?

I understand that Facebook is a social networking site and networking means to stretch one’s circle; however, how many of us actually use it to network? Most use it, at least initially, to stay in touch with family and friends (from my experience).  In the end though most of us get lost in the never ending cycle of adding more and more acquaintances, friends, and family members, until we have more people on our “friends list” than we can ever hope to keep in touch with.  I am simply confounded by this Facebook phenomenon.

pretty pink tuesday, originally uploaded by patti | dearmissdoll.

“So is that what happens the closer we get to our birthdays? We fall apart?”

I asked my beloved this last night.   You see, my beloved’s birthday is coming up shortly and soon after it’ll be my own birthday. This week he developed a pinched nerve that makes it painful to sleep or walk. Yesterday it suddenly felt as if I’d sprained or twisted my ankle, but I’d done nothing to bring such pain on. Today his and my pain is worse.

Does this mean we’re getting old?

Sick., originally uploaded by gina.banina.

I am sick: my brain is foggy, my nose runs, and the back of my throat is thick with phlegm. I should have known I would catch cold. I am done with outdoors parties for the fall and winter, dang it. I will remain inside, where there is a furnace blazing and blankets to snuggle up in, thank you very much.

Because I am sick it is even more difficult than usual to find motivation to do anything at all on my growing to-do list. Instead I am contemplating very quickly doing the dishes and then climbing into bed and falling asleep to a Netflix “watch instantly” movie. I suppose it is a good way to spend an evening in sick. Then it’s decided! Dishes then bed with laptop to watch a Netflix movie.

IMG_9431-1, originally uploaded by gina.banina.

• Baking – I have developed an affinity for baking it seems. 2 weekends ago it was chocolate chip banana bread, this weekend it was peanut butter cookies, and next will be blueberry nut bread. I already have plans to make homemade chocolate chip pancakes and homemade soups.
• Communication – I have had little energy to communicate for the past several weeks. It’s been a month since I have had time to reply to an e-mail and about as long since I have called any friends or family, and it’s been awhile since I have texted anyone either.
• Inspiration – As autumn says an awkward goodbye, too quickly, and winter slyly tiptoes in, my crafty side reappears. I am drawn to making new magnets and scrapbooking more of my childhood as well as my father’s life. I want nothing but to spend my evenings creating. I also want to do nothing but hide from the cold, under my electric blanket. This could complicate things.
• Politics – I am finding it difficult to stay informed, with so little energy in the evenings, but still I remain aware of the healthcare reform being discussed and dissected in Congress and aware of the worsening of our economy. I find passion persists within on these issues that impact the us all so deeply.

Autumn surreptitiously slipped in this year. This has been an autumn like none I can recall. The dynamic reds, oranges, and yellows are scarce, though some familiar features of autumn still remain.

The crisp, chilled breeze invites thoughts of hot apple cider & bonfires, cozy evenings in with a special someone, and big pots of soup or warm from the oven cookies.

We pull our bulky coats and warm mittens, scarves, and caps out of storage, and cover our beds with big, heavy quilts, flannel sheets, and electric blankets.

We know that ultimately all we can do is enjoy the beauty and quiet of autumn and prepare for the coming winter.

(Mushroom 1, by Moi)

IMG_9213-1, originally uploaded by gina.banina.

My perspective is infinitely more positive these days. This is because I am happier than I can remember ever having been. R. has been a significant part of this happiness. I will repress my impulse to gush (you’re welcome), but am delighted that I’ve found this bliss. My metamorphosis of mindset is also thanks to a creative and inspiring person who I was fortunate enough to be introduced to (by R., no less!). She acquainted me with the concept of a daily journal in which you note every positive occurrence. I am grateful to her for sharing her own journal of joy with me, which inspired me to begin my own.

Top Ten of Summer –

1. Attended two Midwest burns and am officially captivated by the culture.
2. Learned I really love camping and can in fact put up a tent by myself!
3. Met an incredible person who may be the most positive influence of my entire life.
4. Moved from a studio apartment to a one bedroom in a garden neighborhood.
5. Watched Jasper come back to a happy place when we moved to our new home.
6. Decided to stop drinking and have happily remained sober since.
7. Shot some of the best photographs I have ever taken, one week ago.
8. Modeled for a photographer who took some of the best shots of me ever.
9. Found myself shaking hands with the past and moving on.
10. Learned much about myself.